Disappointed。。。。。

“If you think this is a good excuse, you just go ahead !" Somebody told me this. WTH u know how angry am i after i heard this??????

This is a good excuse, what can you do? i just dun wanna go. SO？？？？？？？？

I am already very  stress, damn stress, stress about FYP, stress about those fucking coming test and stress about endless projects, i have millions of reasons and excuses for not gng training.

But i do go, for a responsibility. I know that as A YOG performers i have to take up the responsibilities to rehearse, to train, but i just have not much time left for my project and test. WTH u mean?????Am i the one who always being absent??????? Damn angry!

U are not in finally year and u maynot know how tough is my FYPs, really, u do not know. I told my self thousands times that not going for training but at the end i go, no matter what i try to go. I ve been in there for almost 3 years. But what have i gained?

I dun feel the fairness. I never dedicate , or i never put my heart in? No i dun think so. I like it very much and i treated it as part of my life and i am not bear to leave it . But recently i feel being left out and being not be understood. I am just like a role runs here runs there, come out in every performance and always not being noticed! I can say i sacrifice a lot but who knows????

Nobody knows...... Disappointed!!!!!!

7月21日

某小孩，你怎么可以这样跟我说话呢？
唉，你知道你的话把我伤害了么？
唉 ，真的不想和你说话了！好伤心。

May be you didin't notice but u really hurt me......
Haiz........

Just some thoughts. 一些些感想

My dear laptop has been reformat so all my QQ and MSN emoticons are lost, but luckily all my pic and documents are store in my external hard disc if not all the documment will be disappeared. Haha But now i readly use to the newly reformat laptop. 

Today i go to Wushu training. We trained for the coming YOG event and we had also practise our routines for the competitons. I played the Nan quan- 虎鹤双形. Hong ming is my tutor, haha (should i describe like this? anyway i dun know how to describe. ok i say " He is the one who teaching me this routine).One of his sentenses make me alert. He said that " you have been wait for three year for the competitions and this is your final year".

YA this is my final year alr but i m not sure if i will be chosen to go to the competition .Some of my posture such as "马步"&"弓步" are not up to standard and the seriousness of practicing are not shown in me. Err I wanna go for the competition and i have to show them that i m fighting for it. So i told my self, from today onward, i shall show them my best and do my best. Fight for the positions! YA right Mandy , u can do it!!

Ok now quite boring with doing those stupid projects and now there is a serious problem in my heart, i dun have the mood to study, to do work, i feel sinfulness but cant control myself. I just wanna go for a travel, to my favourite places. K let me end this blog with a song.

"不要问我从哪里来，我的故乡在远方，为什么流浪，流浪远方，流浪..........."

到不了的地方 是远方，回不去的地方是家乡。 好想家！真的好想家.......

July 8th

I heard that Spain won Germany by 1:0 in the early morning while i woke up. I felt so happy that Spain had won, bcs to me, the Spain helped all the Argentina fans to take the revenge. Next, Is Neitherland vs Spain. Both of them are the team that i like, haha so how? who to support? Neitherland go, go ,go! Honestly i like Neiterland more.

Today there is a boof at NP orchard road hold by SPCA. There are two cats in the cage. They are so small and so cute. I hug them, and i felt that i would like to protect them and give them a warm home. But my family condition are not suitable to keep a cat, but i really like it. Amongest all the animal i like cat the most. They are clever, cute and carefully watch what people's doing.hehe I would like to marry a guy who love cat. Because a guy who love cat is caring and gentle, then he will able to love the family. 

Haha, let's love animals!Miao~~~!

  So stress these few weeks, different kinda stress, different kinda project, different kinda assignment, different kinda CCA activities.
They all made me have different kinda tiredness, different kinda headache, different kinda madness and different kinda piss off !!!

It is really a kinda of stress with two people doing three person's project.It is really kinda of stress with Wushu xuan ba training. It is really kinda of stress being the final year in Poly. Who says Poly life is more relax??!!! i will totally disagree. Poly life is the most stressful life that i ve encounter! Who knows i will going Mad one day?
Who knows?    
Damn stress NOW!!!!

Life is so fragile

Life sometimes can be so fragile.
Today i received a phone call, the display no. shows that there is one of my IS friend in year 2 in Np, but i had never saw him for a very long time.

His mum gave me the phone call and told me that he is already not in the world, which in chinese is 已经不在了。I did not believe that at first because i cant imagine that his sudden pass away. And is bcs of a wrongly-send sms , made her mum give me the call. I got another friend which has the same name as him. i incidentally sent wrongly to his no.

Sometimes i think of this i felt really horrified and unbelieved, and i could see that his mum is really sad. Life , sometimes can be so fragile, such a young life disappeared from this world, suddenly, without our notification.

He is such a hard working guy and a sunshine boy, although i am not very familiar to him but as we were in the same CATs group last time. I felt so pity to hear this, and what i could say is that wish him have a better life in the heaven and we, those who alive , have really to treasure our family members relatives,friends, and those ppl who have come in to our life. Treasure them, really !!!!